10 Things I've Learned Through Motherhood

Well my little baby turned 1 today. I wonder if there will every be a time when he's not my little baby. I've thought about writing a blog several times about Fin and his first year, but I always dismissed it.

As I tell Will, "I love Fin so much that it makes my heart bones hurt."

You know that feeling when you are so overcome with emotion that it just hurts. That's how I feel about him all the time, and the idea of writing about how wonderful and crazy this journey has been has felt daunting. But I'll give it a whirl from a safe distance.

Here are 10 things I've learned this year from motherhood.

1. While Dr. Brown's bottles are best for preventing gas in your little one, they're a butt to clean.


2. Video monitors are great, but the static almost makes them not worth it. Old school walkie talkies may be the best route.


3. There's a reason why people talk high-pitched to babies. They prefer it. I can tell knee-slapping jokes all day, and nothing. I can dance and make funny faces, and nothing. But the second that I say in an annoying high-pitched tone "de de de," my child is rolling on the ground laughing. So then you decide it's worth it to look like an idiot for the trade of a little giggly squeal.



4. There's a secret mom's club. You don't have to apply or sign up, you just instantly join when that screaming thing comes out of you. It's a cool club. When your child is throwing a fit, because he's decided he doesn't want to ride in the cart, another mom club member looks over and gives a forgiving smile. Because she too, has been there. And as apart of the mom club, I can smile at little babies and talk mom stuff (formula, clothes, diapers, carseats, etc.) because that's what mom club members do. I can also beam and smile at another mom club member as she swoons over my own perfectly-beautiful son.


5. I'll never have my sexy body back. I can run, diet, exercise, and do Jillian Michaels every day. But I'll never be a size six again. My stomach will never be flat. My abs will never be defined. And I'll never slide into a slinky dress to show off my hour glass figure at a dinner party. But I can choose to accept my body and dress it appropriately. For goodness sakes, I carried a human for nine months. I'd say it was worth the pay off.


6. My house is no longer my own. I can't leave crap out, because my child will eat it. I can't put cute knick-knacks on the book shelf, because my child will break them. I can't leave the mac plugged in, because my child will knaw on the cords. I can't wait to take out the trash, because my child will knock it all over.


7. God has to be the center of our house. Church is no longer about me, if I like the worship, if there are people my age, or if they believe in this or that. It is now about what's best for my family. Where will we best serve? Are there friends Fin can make and grow with? Are they teaching the gospel of a loving God? Can we invest in community as a family? Never before have I been as challenged to find God as I am now.


8. You really learn who your friends are. Everyone comes to the hospital. Everyone gives you gifts. But not everyone loves him as hard as we do. There is nothing more meaningful than seeing your friends invest in your child by changing, feeding, playing, dancing, laughing, holding, and simply loving. Not because they are required. Not because they are asked to. But because they want to play in intricate part of his life. It really does take a village.


9. My husband is an incredible dad. Every bride says, "And he's so good with kids." But it's different when there's poop up the newborn's back, I forgot to pack a bottle, and you're so tired that you can't even think straight. But being a stellar dad is the sexiest thing about my husband. It truly makes me swoon.


10. There are different kinds of love. Fin Knowles has instilled in me a love that is so raw, strong, and irrevocable. I have been tired, exhausted, angry, frustrated, selfish, embarrassed, and still, there is never a time when my love for him is not overwhelming, for even myself. It's so encompassing, that my heart bones just hurt.