Thoughts on the first year of marriage.

Everyone says the first year of marriage is the hardest. They tell you that you'll fight. And pout over little things. And get frustrated with dirty underwear and socks all over the floor. And they tell you that you'll feel like you weren't cut out for this.

While our first year of marriage has been, what's the word, trying...I've never wanted to "throw in the towel." Yes there were nights when emotions ran dangerously wild. Nights when I begged Will to come to bed from the couch. Nights when I wondered what I had gotten myself into. But it is all part of a learning process.

We are 17 days away from our first anniversary. I look over a year filled with times of uplifting one another. Times of holding one another when words wouldn't suffice. Times of fear and doubt about whether we would make it. Times of rejoicing over a healthy baby boy. Times of true sadness and times of true joy.

Couples get divorced a lot these days. I always thought it was because they were always fighting. Or couldn't get along. Or they have nothing in common. But after being married a short while, I think I know what it is.

Apathy.

Apathy takes a couple from marriage to roommates. From date nights to same old same old. From getting dolled up to not caring. From passionate sex to a chore. From sweet texts to not even knowing they're gone.

I guess things start falling apart when the everyday becomes mundane, and you are no longer experiencing life together. No longer calling each other just to say "I miss you." No longer sharing hopes, fears, dreams, and passions. No longer being "one."

But instead worrying about laundry. And taking the trash out. And e-mailing people back. And running errands.

Will and I have talked about this a lot lately. It's hard to find time, because it feels as if life is dragging us as it races by. It's hard to discuss his dreams of travel and photography when the baby is screaming, needs to be fed, has a diaper that needs changed, or just demanding full attention.

How will we continue to pursue one another? How will we continuously fall head over heels for one another?

My sweet husband is a wise man. And a Godly man. That's why I married him. I was reading through his old blog posts, missing his deep, sensitive, and intellectual thoughts. I discovered this post that he posted in 2007 describing the purpose for his blog. He wrote,

"My goal is to make the everyday beautiful. I aim to express awe for the mundane. I hope to show you my delight for the ordinary. All the while, chronicling the journey that is the rest of my life."

I pray this becomes the anthem to our journey. Instead of apathy and mundane.

Make everyday beautiful. Express awe. Show delight. And then chronicle the journey.

May our marriage become one of richness, desire, and beauty.